The Olympics are currently taking place in Tokyo, Japan, despite all common sense and the wishes of a large part of the nation’s populace. To make matters worse, Toyota has now trotted out its basketball-playing robot, CUE 4, to show that we could’ve had just as good of a sporting event without even needing to involve humans from around the globe in the first place.
A video from yesterday’s France-USA match-up shows the star player sinking a three-pointer like it’s nothing then wheeling even further back, its creepy arms set in basketball-receiving position, and perfectly executing another shot. In order to truly appreciate CUE 4's true essence, it’s necessary to check out a series of photos that really show off the robot’s peculiar style, which consists of “skin” covered in tread marks, large frog-like hands, and a single glowing eye.
Apparently CUE has existed for a while now, emerging from the laboratory in its Mark IV form at the end of 2019. Official language says the robot can “[score] 100 out of 100 shots” and comes with features like “the [ability] to grasp and shoot a basketball by itself, and to run.” According to Hypebeast, the sucker stands at 6'10" and seems to be limited only by the fact that it “can’t dribble or jump.” (Yet.)
We’re firmly on record as despising all robots, no matter what talents they may possess, but we have to admit that a Tokyo Olympics consisting entirely of big cyclopean basketball players would have suited us just fine. Take note of this, we guess, for when the next Olympics rolls around and we’re still living through a pandemic because of decisions like the ones that led to the current games. Robots can stand in for our horribly mortal bodies in times of emergency just fine.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to email@example.com