For all the lousy commercial tie-ins that Microsoft has over the last 20 years, from Burger King’s Sneak King to the Doritos VR Battle, it’s surprising that they didn’t do more with celebrities. Someone like Brie Larson, for example, is probably dying to turn her Nissan Sentra ads into a vertically integrated franchise, linking Microsoft, Nissan, and, oh, I don’t know, AbbVie pharmaceuticals (blue-skying here). But it is kind of strange that there isn’t a Rock video game—if anyone was going to do it, it feels like it would be him. There’s kind of a Keanu Reeves video game, Cyberpunk 2077, but it feels like, after the release of that game, it became the “Penis 2" video game, and then the video game no one played.
Anywho, the New York-based sketch team Please Don’t Destroy was thinking the same thing and actually did something about it for once, goddammit. In their latest sketch, Please Don’t Destroy member Martin Herlihy plays the game that’s sure to top every gamer’s holiday list this year: “Shailene Woodley 2K21.” Existing somewhere between the Madden games and Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, “Woodley 2K21" gifts players the chance to live as Shailene, appearing on Kimmel, memorizing lines, vying for producer credits, and more! Finally, you can step into Shailene’s heels, walk the red carpet, and live the life you deserve. We can only hope that the game lets you finish off your Divergent series. At the very least, make that DLC!
Check out the sketch below and imagine your life as Shailene, or playing as Shailene, whichever works for you.