Drivers across the United States have reacted to news of possible gas shortages in proper, level-headed American fashion: Panic-buying more than they need, and making the situation worse for everyone else in the process. While doing so, photos and videos of hoarders stuffing their cars with jerry cans, barrels, and plastic bags filled with gasoline have popped up, leading government agencies to remind people that this is not at all a good idea—and Fire Department Chronicles’ Jason Patton to make a video echoing this point, though in a much more colorful fashion.
After introducing the topic with a brief PSA about the benefits of bidet-use, Patton, a firefighter and paramedic who constantly looks as if every blood vessel in his body is about to rupture, shows off a few photos of people filling up plastic buckets and bags with gas. “Because this lack of appropriate judgment will inevitably end in you, your car, and probably somebody else no longer existing on this plane of existence,” Patton says, nearly foaming at the mouth, “I wanted to quickly go over why transporting fuels inside of uncapped, unsealed containers is such an incredibly stupid idea.”
He says that, while most people think gasoline fires and explosions resemble the ones seen in movies, the reality is that gas vapor ignitions “go from zero to heaven—or whatever you believe in—in an instant,” especially when it comes from fuel that’s “sloshing around in your trunk.”
Patton also points out that “not all plastics are the same,” meaning that some containers will deteriorate even if they might appear safe and that the resulting gas explosion—which can be caused by something as simple as a static charge—is likely to hurt or kill more than just the person responsible for improperly transporting fuel. He leaves the video with maybe the most memorable example of why he’s so worked up about this in the first place:
“If you think having to ride a bus or walk or possibly carpool with other people to save fuel is bad, try spending two years inside of a burn unit having your skin scrubbed off and then hopefully reapplied a million freaking times,” Patton says, following this vision by leaving viewers with a wild grin and wide-eyed stare.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org