Sell the kids for food: 12 album covers depicting children in peril
1. Nirvana, Nevermind
The baby grasping for a dollar bill on the cover of Nevermind is commonly seen as a metaphor for Nirvana leaving behind the innocence of Sub Pop and reaching for the cash (and possible danger) of a major label. But if you take the album’s iconic cover literally, it’s just a helpless infant floating along in what appears to be the deep end of a swimming pool, and looking like he’s about to be tricked by what must be a very sinister grown-up (or bored fisherman). Selling out is one thing; leaving youngsters unattended near bodies of water is a whole other level of personal irresponsibility.
2. Sebadoh, Bakesale
While we’re on the subject of ’90s rock and neglected babies, somebody should’ve really kept an eye on the kid digging around in the toilet on the cover of Sebadoh’s 1994 breakthrough Bakesale. Perhaps it’s a stretch to suggest that this youngster’s life is in peril, but really, we have no idea what’s in that toilet, and the whole “bakesale” concept indicates that whatever is in there might end up in his mouth. Dangerous? Perhaps. Gross? Undoubtedly.
3. Van Halen, 1984
There’s a whole subgenre of album covers depicting cigarette-smoking children—other notables include Dinosaur Jr.’s Green Mind, Bad Company’s Dangerous Age, and The Walkmen’s Everyone Who Pretended To Like Me Is Gone—but Van Halen’s 1984 goes one step further by showing a baby angel having a smoke with two full packs within reach. The dangers of smoking for people of any age are self-evident, but it’s particularly dangerous for kids, whose development can be stunted by too many cigarettes. Presumably baby angels are impervious to the effects of smoking, but it’s still pretty unseemly.
4. Lil Wayne, Tha Carter IV
Surely there are some hardcore tattoo enthusiasts who would argue against the lil’ Lil Wayne on the cover of Tha Carter IV being in any sort of danger. There are no federal laws setting age restrictions for getting a tattoo, though many states forbid it for anyone under the age of 18, or at least require some form of parental consent. But certainly a child who appears as young as Wayne on this album cover faces possible emotional peril from being so tatted up, as well as potential financial hardship from all the tattoo-removal surgery that’s in his future.