It had to happen sometime, but guess who was marketed today? Yep, it was me. From my inbox:

Subject: Please get on the TV with Karen O

Once again the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are going above and beyond for their fans by offering them a chance to appear in the video for "Cheated Hearts." All they have to do is send the band a video of themselves singing the song. And by they I mean you, obviously. I bet it's like "Black or White" meets "Runaway Train." I just can't wait to look at you on television.

Advertisement

Wow, thanks, Guy From A Marketing Email. You're a little overly chummy for a total stranger, but I've always wanted to see myself on television, too! But…I don't know. "Black Or White" meets "Runaway Train"? That's probably the least tempting combination I can think of. So the faces of a bunch of missing kids are going to morph into each other? How depressing! And melty! And all I have to do is tape myself singing to the song? Oh, and sign a huge release form. And adhere to a bunch of instructions. Wait a minute, Guy From A Marketing Email. Why would anyone do this? Take a look:

PAY ATTENTION TO THE FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS 1) Send it on DV TAPE 2) Dress the part! 3) Blast the music in the background and play or sing over it… 4) Get lost in the song make it YOURS. 5) Got guitar? mic? drums? Use'em! Got no such things? Fake it, use what you got around the house, be resourceful yeah! 6) Do as many performances as you need, we will edit it! Try and make them different: FULL BODY, CLOSE-UP, MEDIUM, FROM THE SIDE, inside, outside, etc. Do the Nick, do the Brian, do the Karen O. 7) IMPORTANT: AT LEAST HALF OF YOUR PERFORMANCE SHOULD BE AGAINST A WHITE WALL, or sheet. SO DO IT ONCE IN FRONT OF A WHITE WALL AND ONCE ANYWAY YOU WANT. 8) SEND IT TO US, DO IT QUICKLY….YOU WILL BE BIGGER THAN THE SOUND.

Eight numbered instructions that could easily be summed up as: 1) Tape yourself (from all angles) acting like an idiot to our music. The more idiotic the better. Then sign away your rights and send it to us. 2) If you have children, MAKE THEM ACT LIKE IDIOTS TOO.

Advertisement

Now I see the "Runaway Train" connection. These kids will be escaping the parents who make them dress up like members of a hipster band in no time. God, I can't wait to see this video.