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Phat Beach

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With a title like Phat Beach, you would expect lots of dope jams, shots of honeys in revealing swimsuits, and at least one scene in which a character exclaims, "Man, this beach is phat!" Do you get those things? You betcha!™ Phat Beach is a not-unwatchable hip-hop re-working of all those '80s sex comedies in which the central character struggles to lose his virginity against overwhelming odds. In this case, the protagonist (Jermaine "Huggy" Hopkins) has three strikes against him: He's obese, he's morbidly shy, and he attempts to woo the woman of his dreams with really awful poetry. But don't count him out yet; he's got a mean volleyball serve that might just win him respect and a load of money. Though listed second on the video box, Coolio appears (as himself) only long enough to emcee a bikini contest. Followers of his continually evolving hairstyle will be able to discern that Phat Beach sat on the shelf a while before its release.