“It sucks a whole truckload of butts!”

“Nothing turns me on more than basic competence.”

“At any other time of the year, that man’s life would be worth more than a TV.”

It must be terrible to write for The Simpsons. I mean, it’s obviously great to be associated with what is still…

“You were born to recap TV at a fourth-grade level!”

I like being surprised. Maybe that’s because I’ve got a long and self-fulfilling tendency to expect the worst. Or maybe…

How invested should we be in Moe’s happiness? Springfield’s worst barkeep and intermittent stalker creepo is…

“Road rage is actually home rage that I bring onto the highway.”

“This’ll be the last word I ever say—C-minus!”

We’ve met God before, of course. He of the four fingers, and the booming voice, and the seriously requited love for Ned…

Please stop having Marge say “noob.”

“Like most of America, I think I know the movie business.”

Hey, remember how the final sequence of Six Feet Under was a unique, sublimely devastating summation of the show’s…

Grampa needs some expensive medical treatment, so the family heads off to a foreign country whose very different…

“Left Behind” is about everything and nothing. To be more accurate, this record-setting episode (since every new Simpson…

“Yeah! I am the champion of this very bad idea!”

Since “Lisa Gets The Blues” reaches back to a classic episode for what emotional resonance it’s got, allow me to reach…

“Made in the finest Filipino sweatshops by the cutest kids you ever saw!”

“It takes a lot of work to take the spirit and character out of a book.”

“I don’t exist unless you laugh at me!”