VH1's The Pick-Up Artist, aka The Leon Phelps But For Real Desperation Hour, has thus far taught us some important lessons about tricking girls in Austin to talk to you, such as: always go to the club with the hidden cameras, never ever cross a guy who chooses to call himself Matador, and bleaching one spot in the front of your hair isn't ridiculous, it's a strategy. Still, the pace of the show is practically glacial. There have already been three episodes, and Mystery just taught the contestants about the wonders of negging.

Luckily, there's this clip of Conan O'Brien interviewing Mystery back in April that manages to distill all of Mystery's pick-up wisdom into a tidy 8 minute segment. Basically, it all boils down to having the courage to say, "I just got out of the house and I'm wearing goggles!"

In case you don't recognize him without his oversized fuzzy hat, I assure you that is Mystery. The show was taped during his "Bird-watching Goth Extra From Young Guns II" phase.