Cops have ignored our menacing clown threat for far too long, documents show

Multiple police reports obtained via public records requests from Motherboard show our nation’s law enforcement is woefully underprepared for our inevitable next wave of creepy clown sightings. “Responses to public-records requests filed by Motherboard hint at the scope of the clown menace,” they explain, reminding everyone of the dozens of “Oh hell no” clown varietals reported across the nation back around 2016—one of which actually resulted in a death (of the clown, that is). Such occurrences included children getting terrified by phantom waving Bozos, a “clown army” chasing a man down a street, and “young clowns… seen in the local mall, near a Cheesecake Factory.”

But, for the most part, police departments contacted by Motherboard “reported that diligent searches revealed no records of a response to the clown menace, no surveillance of clown-themed social media accounts, and no comprehensive analyses of the issue.” Great, just great.