Disney will never let you play with its "real" lightsaber, so don't even ask

No, not even after paying for an obscenely expensive ticket to that Star Wars hotel

By Andrew Paul  |  November 18, 2021 | 7:00pm
Film Features Disney
Disney will never let you play with its
C’mon, just let us hold it for a minute! We’ll give it right back, we promise. Screenshot: YouTube

Earlier this year, Disney announced its Star Wars: Galactic Cruiser LARPing hotel for obscenely wealthy and/or financially irresponsible fans of denying the crushing, earthbound realities around us. Among the amenities available at the two-day “immersive” experience that costs visitors a minimum of $4800 for two nights are a slew of underpaid actors forced to stay in character as Twi’leks and C-tier Jedi (we’re looking at you, Ki-Adi-Mundi), cabin bunks with glorious views of outer space (aka hotel rooms with iPad screens instead of actual windows), and blue shrimp cocktails.

To sweeten the deal, Disney also hyped its newly patented “real” lightsaber that presumably could be seen and played with at the hotel… which although admittedly cool, was less a working laser sword and more a glorified tape measurer wrapped in LED lighting. Still, at least $5000 could get you a couple minutes swinging one of those things around, right?

Ha! Dream on, young padawans.

Both IGN and GameSpot confirm after visiting the resort that Disney’s expensive prop at its expensive escapist resort hotel will never, ever fall into the hands of the masses. “Unfortunately, that lightsaber isn’t for guests to use or purchase. It’s strictly for use by the performers,” IGN reports, with GameSpot adding that “guests will never actually use that lightsaber, but that it will be part of the Galactic Starcruiser experience.”

Instead, crestfallen children can participate in a Jedi training exercise that involves deflecting lasers with what “feels like a high-end, yet slimmed-down lightsaber replica with a fixed blade.” “What the experience boils down to is several rounds of using the saber replica to meet beams of light being projected in patterns,” recounts GameSpot. Fun.

So there you have it. Don’t even think about asking that exhausted, aspiring actress playing Rey to hold her lightsaber when Galactic Starcruiser opens next year.

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