Movie-deprived degenerates claim combining Pepsi and popcorn tastes good, actually

Movie theater closures have forced innovation in the field of concession-stand horror shows

By Matt Schimkowitz | November 19, 2021 | 12:41am

Film Features Pepsi

Movie-deprived degenerates claim combining Pepsi and popcorn tastes good, actually

Pepsi / Popcorn Photo: Barry Brecheisen (Getty Images for Pepsi)

Movie theaters are slowly coming back to life after a year and a half of COVID-risky Tenet screenings that cratered the industry. With a safe and effective vaccine and a better understanding of how the virus travels, moviegoers are returning to theaters with a little less worry—though not entirely free of concern.

But some are too far gone. Case in point, 18 months into the pandemic and the dietary habits of very online moviegoers have been warped by boredom and that age-old internet quest to make the biggest, grossest food-related mess imaginable.

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Enter: Pissy shitties, a supposedly real internet trend that sees people combining Pepsi (already the cursed cola when compared to the smooth, refreshing taste of Coca-Cola) and buttered popcorn. It’s the taste of a new generation.

Earlier today, Mel Magazine released a blistering report on the people enjoying Pissy Shitties, as well as arguing about whether or not they’re real. That debate seems almost as important as the proportions of soda to popcorn. Mel’s Miles Klee writes:

You must not doubt the custom of mixing some pissy shitties, nor their prevalence in the U.S. From the day in early 2016 when the snack was spoken into being by Tumblr user bighuge, this has been a contentious point — whether Americans actually eat mushy, Pepsi-soaked popcorn. Well, we do. And saying otherwise can get you kicked out of the Facebook group “Pissy Shitties Are a Real Thing,” where Rule 4 clearly states: “Never deny the existence of pissy shitties.” Doubters are cast out, presumably to join the rival group “Pissy Shitties Aren’t Real, Sorry,” a place without honor or, it has to be said, any sophisticated palates.

Of course, it’s hard to tell whether anyone actually does this or they just enjoy positing a disgusting vapor-snack into the zeitgeist. Either way, we’re here to say that however you wish to enjoy your movie theater popcorn, whether that means mixing it with Reese’s Pieces or Pepsi, is fine by us. We’ll get our own bucket. No, seriously, we’re good—no need to share.