Hey you alls, I know that pretty much everyone in the blogosphere has probably opined on this already but if you haven't heard it y'all suckas really need to peep the mad science my boy K-Fed's dropping on his first release, which is ricocheting through the internet like a particularly nasty musical super-virus. It's really, um, yeah, uh, it's kinda hard to put into words what makes it so inexplicably amusing but it probably has something to do with the vast disconnect between the idiot swagger of K-Fed's (AKA Britney Spears' loser husband) delivery and how ridiculously little he has to be cocky about. To call the track "amateurish" would be a grievous insults to amateurs the world over. Maybe K-Fed's right in that we all just aren't ready: maybe we all really need to stop hatin' on him for the style he creates straight 2008. Maybe we all really do wish, as he so eloquently puts it, that we was in his position cuz he keep gettin' in situations we wish we was in … cousin. Maybe we all really do wish the Pavorattis were chasin' us (perhaps because we've purloined their picanick baskets, cousin) and maybe we should all call K-Fed dad. I'm totally gonna give homeboy (or "Dad" as I've taken to calling him) the benefit of the doubt. No hateration from this corner, cousin. Play on, playa The press material for Bob Saget's forthcoming sure-to-be-hilarious spoof of "March of The Penguins" mentions that its distributor is thinking about finding the regional equivalents of Bob Saget to provide the voice-over for overseas' cuts of the film. So you just know that Equador's answer to Bob Saget has to be ecstatic that all those long years of being the Equadorian Bob Saget are finally going to pay off. Sweet! I'm feeling the funk outta the Looney Tunes Golden Collection Volume 3, except for Whoopi Goldberg's lame-ass intros on all the discs. I'm especially fond of "The Bear That Wasn't" a 1967 cartoon that's fascinating for multiple reasons. For starters it's an MGM cartoon instead of Warners and it marks a collaboration between Frank Tashlin, who produced and wrote the children's book it's based on, Chuck Jones and Maurice Noble and has got a great, crazy 60s retro "Down With Love" gone psychedelic quality to it, from the music (dig that wild theme song man) to the visuals. It's totally about this one bear whose hibernation is interrupted by a factory devouring his homestead. He tries to tell people that he's a bear but everyone from the foreman to various vice presidents on up to the man in charge to bears in a zoo tells him he's simply a silly man in a fur coat who needs a shave. He's so worn down by his Kafkaesque nightmare that he starts to believe it and grudging accepts life as just another faceless factory drone. It's extremely funny but it's also rather sad, an eloquent little allegory about how society denies and removes all that's wild and fierce and untamed that's within us. And what could be more wild and fierce and untamed than early Warner Brothers, the work of genius twenty-somethings letting their ids run rampant? Yet by the time "The Bear That Wasn't" came out Jones and Tashlin were old men and Tashlin was in the twilight of his life and career, which lends the cartoon an added poignance. It's like my main home slice Pony Boy sez: Nothing gold can stay. Til' next time, Cousins,

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