Rob Lowe directing a horror film for Butterfinger

In an announcement serendipitously timed with Friday the 13th, Rob Lowe's new memoir, and, of course, the Whoring Hour, Coming Soon reports that Lowe has signed on to direct Butterfinger The 13th, a 25-minute comedy-horror movie that marks “the first-ever film produced not by a major studio or filmmaker, but by one of America's iconic candy brands.” Lowe, who described the project as “a psychological thriller that will leave you laughing,” said that he was drawn to the job because of “Butterfinger's history with irreverent comedy,” and he did so with a straight face, thereby earning his money already. And now Butterfinger’s long, rich history of influential, irreverent comedy—which has made it basically the Ernie Kovacs of peanut-butter candy—will be applied to a mock-horror short that builds on the company’s long-running “Nobody’s Gonna Lay A Finger On My Butterfinger” tagline, taking the audience on “a perilous journey with the film's hero, whose paranoia leads him to believe that someone wants to lay a finger… in more ways than one.”