Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, May 4. All times are Eastern.
Heartbeat (NBC, 8 p.m.): In “Permanent Glitter” (dope episode title, by the way), “when a transgender woman is diagnosed with breast cancer, Alex and Ji-Sung fight to save her life and her identity.” Where does the glitter come in? Hopefully every single scene. Please, Heartbeat. Just make sure it doesn’t get in the way of saving people’s lives, because glitter has a way of ending up places it doesn’t belong. Or so we’ve heard.
Black-ish (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): In “Super Rich Kids,” Junior finally becomes one of the cool kids. No, seriously. “Dre has always felt his older son was never like him, but when he finally meets Junior’s cool friends, Dre is all in and happy that his son may have the opportunity for an actual social life.” Time to see how Dre ruins it all. On the plus side, LaToya Ferguson is pretty sure he can’t ruin Regina Hall’s return as Vivian the black nanny. Or can he?
The Challenge: Rivals III (MTV, 10 p.m.): Well that was fast. It’s a new season of The Challenge, and sadly, we’re not rid of all those Battle Of The Bloodlines dummies. We suppose we’ll never be rid of those Battle Of The Bloodlines dummies. But as long as this season is good—and we’re hoping that the super quick turnaround is because MTV realized it needed to apologize for how bad Battle Of The Bloodlines was—we’ll allow it. Season 28. Rivals III. 90 minutes. Mexico. Let’s do this. And let’s never forget this:
In conclusion, The Challenge: Battle Of The Bloodlines was awful. The opposite of that clip.
Criminal Minds (CBS, 9 p.m.): Criminal Minds wraps up its 11th season with “The Storm.” Ooh, sounds ominous, right? “The BAU is shocked when Hotch is apprehended by a SWAT team and suspected of conspiracy, and as the team scrambles to prove his innocence, they suspect a larger plot is on the horizon.” Yup, totes omins. And congratulations for being the first show to lead to that abbreviation of “totally ominous,” Criminal Minds.
Maron (IFC, 9 p.m.): Maron is back for its fourth season, and apparently, Maron is back on drugs. Whoops. Yes, that’s vague, but come on: TV Guide’s own description for the show is just “a comedian and podcaster’s life is chronicled,” and its description for the premiere is “in the Season 4 premiere, friends help get a troubled Maron into rehab.” See? We did the best we could. Anyway, here’s the WTF podcast episode with CM Punk (CM PUNK! CM PUNK!) as the guest.
Catfish (MTV, 9 p.m.): MTV is still exposing internet fraud, and now it’s doing it on Wednesdays at 9. You’re welcome for that update, y’all.
The Path (Hulu, midnight)
The Middle/The Goldbergs (ABC, 8/8:30 p.m.)
Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.)
Arrow (The CW, 8 p.m.)
Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.)
Empire (Fox, 9 p.m.)
The Last Panthers (Sundance, 10 p.m.)
The Americans (FX, 10 p.m.)