Colombian mayor shares footage of ghost attack, requests "union in prayer"

The mayor of Armenia, Colombia is determined to defeat his office's guard-pushing poltergeist

By Reid McCarter  |  August 12, 2021 | 5:50pm
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Colombian mayor shares footage of ghost attack, requests
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We should all be so lucky to have a mayor who takes the clear and present threat of mean ghosts seriously. Screenshot: Revista Semana

Armenia, Colombia’s Mayor Jose Manuel Rios Morales has a bit of a ghost problem on his hands. Rather than sweep the issue under the rug and allow nefarious specters to run rampant under his watch, Morales has decided to tackle it head-on by sharing footage of the poltergeist haunting his office and letting his constituents know that, under his watch, the invisible delinquent will be taken care of in no time.

Morales posted the video on Facebook along with a note saying that the situation is under control, implicitly informing the people of Armenia that nobody should stop by his office for a little while until a variety of priests have finished walking around, chanting in Latin.

With apologies to the guard, it has to be said that the video’s presentation is fucking hilarious. Calming stock music plays over black-and-white footage of a man walking along and then being thrown violently to one side, crashing into a stand and then being pushed around the floor until back-up arrives and the ghost, we suppose, hightails it away from the scene of the crime.

As threatening as this officegeist may appear, Morales is confident that “as mayor I have the conviction that faith has unbeatable power.” After asserting that ghosts are both real and ready to kick your ass at a moment’s notice, he says he’s got a bishop and “other religious leaders” on hand to bless “every corner of this workspace” and ensure “that nothing will be able to steal our peace and tranquility because we are protected by the hand of our Lord.” All he’s asking from his constituents is “respect and a union in prayer.”

Good for Morales, we say. For too long, the world’s politicians have ignored the issues that matter most to regular people, such as being the subject of a ghost-haymaker, goblins stealing their shoelaces at night, or that goddamn bigfoot keeping us up all night by throwing rocks at our windows. It’s about time someone took these kind of things seriously.

[via Mysterious Universe]

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