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David Blaine Is Not Drowned

After spending 7 days in an increasingly cloudy sphere of water outside Lincoln Center, David Blaine was not content to just turn into a human prune. He had to try and break the world record for holding breath underwater. Oh, and get out of some superfluous handcuffs. Not surprisingly, he couldn't do it. And despite the title of the ABC special that aired his attempt, he didn't even have the courtesy to drown. [youtube:oTnfSC-xrl8] If Blaine had been schooled in the Greek myths, he would have known that he was shooting too far. He flew too close to the sun and his publicity stunt melted in a pool of blubbery, pathetic tears. Just like Icarus. Update: I'm watching The View right now, and the shrill, young one (as opposed to the shrill, hammerhead-looking one, and the shrill, post-menepausal one) just said that David Blaine comes from a family of "gypsies" and then said, "You know, I just hope that kids don't try this at home, because they won't have a team of divers to get them out." To which Joy replied, "Come on. (audible sigh) Where would they get the tank?" I can't wait for Rosie O'Donnell to barely tolerate these people on a daily basis. Live!


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