Barbara Eden (Maggie Jones)George Kennedy (Bert)Melissa Sue Anderson (Jennie)Joe Namath (Newt Newton)Bridget Hanley (Estelle)Christopher McDonald (Paul)Clu Gulager (Sam)James Horan (Mason)Davis Roberts (Woodrow)Professor Toru Tanaka (Hashimoto)Paul Brinegar (Pee Wee)John Steadman (Norman)Parley Baer (Alonzo Dillard)Tony Azito (Lucky Pierre)Kelsie Blades (Rube)Candi Brough (Terri)Randi Brough (Susie)Lyle Byrum (Ultra Lite Pilot)
Unscrupulous football team owner Bert (George Kennedy) will get one million dollars tax-free if he lives up to the terms of his recently deceased father-in-law's will. He has to restore the old man's favorite train, the Chattanooga Choo Choo, and make a twenty-four-hour run from Chattanooga to New York City. Bert (Kennedy) sees this as his chance to get free from his wife and get some publicity for his team. Bert's mistress (Barbara Eden), the team coach (Joe Namath), cheerleaders, players press, estranged wife, daughter, potential son-in-law and his father (who is also Bert's business rival), are all on-board for the hilarious trip.