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Here are the four new people who will probably join Saturday Night Live

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Facing a new season without Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis, Fred Armisen, and (soon) Seth Meyers, Lorne Michaels has set about the semiannual business of finding fresh young Saturday Night Live talent to feed his ravenous bloodlust, draining them nightly—just a little bit, just enough to sustain him. Deadline reports that, after passing the harrowing audition process (and presumably not offering Michaels any fake prop money), Beck Bennett, John Milhiser, Kyle Mooney, and Noël Wells—every one of them alumni of the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre—have all emerged as the top contenders to pop up in featured player roles at first, and hopefully not say “fuck” or do anything else to get fired.

Of these, Bennett is probably the most recognizable, having starred in the Jorma Taccone-directed, “It’s Not Complicated” ads for AT&T that are on approximately every seven minutes. He’s got some of that Sudeikis, alpha-everyman quality. He could definitely play lots of game show hosts.

Bennett is also a founding member of the sketch group Good Neighbor with Mooney, a writer on Nathan For You who’s probably most recognizable from his guest spot on Parks And Recreation (as Tom’s would-be replacement) and his role as Norm MacDonald’s “nephew” Kyle on Comedy Central's Sports Show. He’s got that weird, Fred Armisen energy, maybe. (Though perhaps a more apt comparison would be the short-lived Paul Brittain?).

John Milhiser is part of New York’s sketch group Serious Lunch, and he makes viral videos that sometimes feature celebrity cameos, like the Step It Up parody below. Perhaps he can fill Andy Samberg’s vacant niche.

And finally, Wells is probably best known for her popular YouTube videos, where she does impressions of everyone from Kristen Stewart to Michele Bachmann to Joanna Newsom. She also has the very popular “Hey! The Zooey Deschanel Show,” which means Abby Elliott is at this very moment fading like the photograph of Marty McFly’s family in Back To The Future.

And here is where some people point out the obligatory fact that these people are all white, and then some other people reply by listing the show’s past roster of non-white performers, and then the first people respond by saying, well, that’s a very limited list, comparatively, all while we sit quietly over here thinking about what we want for lunch. It's Friday, so, maybe tacos? [via Splitsider]