Aiming to differentiate itself from the half-dozen other Frankenstein projects in the works, I, Frankenstein does so by asking what if Frankenstein's creation were not a hideous, shambling testament to man’s unwise attempt to play God, but rather a surly action hero in a hoodie? Like the star of The CW’s Beauty And The Blemish before him, Aaron Eckhart reimagines another classic monster as a ripped, handsome guy with scars that are totally disfiguring, according to the script. And, again like so many other classic reimaginings of late, the film mostly involves Eckhart punching and swinging weapons in slow motion at a bunch of CGI—all as part of some convoluted “ancient demon” mythology that probably makes total sense in the graphic novel it’s based on, but is here so would-be-franchise formulaic it borders on parody (and renders the trailer’s highlighting that it comes “from the producers of Underworld” totally redundant).

We're gonna go out on a limb here and say that the only thing I, Frankenstein has in common with Frankenstein is it's been stitched together from several disparate parts, and that its creators will live to regret it. Goddamn, this looks excruciating.