After Damien, and the girl from Poltergeist, and young Linda Blair, and Haley Joel Osment, and Tomås the bag-head boy in The Orphanage, there comes a point when we as a society have to ask ourselves where we went wrong. Why do our movie-children insist on being conduits for evil? As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a movie-child, so we can't just blame the movie-parents. No, when a movie-child decides to sit cross-legged on their bedroom floor and talk to an evil ghost that lives in a mirror, it reflects (see what I did there?) badly on all of us. We have to evaluate our movie-schools and our movie-after-school programs, our movie-community centers and our movie-society. How could so many movie-children fall through the cracks like this and into the worst kind of horror movie cliché?

We need to reach out to our movie-children, but also to discipline them. Make sure they know that, no, demon spirits don't just want to play, so just leave them alone. Also, if you insist on being a lightning rod for evil like that, you're going to get stuck that way. Fine. Do what you want. But you're acting like a really, really boring cliché right now, and just for that we are not going to get ice cream. This kind of befriending-bad-spirits-trapped-in-mirrors behavior does not deserve a treat. You hear me, young man?



Ugh. Well, now we can officially add mirrors, dark water, Keifer Sutherland, and ghost-happy kids to the Things That Were At One Point Creepy, But Are Now Just Tiresome list.

Advertisement