With Beyoncé’s baby slowly achieving autonomy and already earning more money than you will this year, plans can begin anew for the A Star Is Born remake that she was supposed to make for Clint Eastwood, and preferably before Clint Eastwood has to kick a baby. “Halftime’s over, Beyoncé—time to punt,” Eastwood would growl. Anyway, that’s most likely not going to happen: Deadline reports that the film is ramping up production again, which means it’s time once more to return to casting rumors regarding who will play the bitter, washed-up alcoholic to Beyoncé’s ingénue—a list that has included everyone from Leonardo DiCaprio to Will Smith to Jon Hamm to Christian Bale to Russell Crowe to even Eminem at one time or another, the only criteria for the part apparently being that they are male and able to furrow their eyebrows.
And because nobody furrows their eyebrows or asserts wholeheartedly that they are a human male like Tom Cruise, now Tom Cruise is also in talks for what could end up being his second role in a musical after Rock Of Ages. Of course, he’s also pretty busy elsewhere: Cruise is currently filming Joseph Kosinski’s Oblivion, with Warner Bros.’ All You Need Is Kill and the inevitable, all-but-confirmed Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol 2: International Keyboard Settings ¥ £¡ still to come, which means meeting Eastwood's June start date could be difficult. But if you’ve long dreamed of seeing Tom Cruise romance Beyoncé across a mixing board, maybe you’ll get to, and also you are weird. Maybe don't tell us about any more of your dreams from now on.