Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Beauty & The Geek: Meet the Parents

Illustration for article titled Beauty & The Geek: Meet the Parents
Illustration for article titled Beauty & The Geek: Meet the Parents

I can't wait to watch the real finale of Beauty and the Geek now that I've seen the infomercial for it.

I'm hoping that's what happened because otherwise that was a finale so awful that it kind of ruined how I felt about the entire season. I like this show, a lot, but this final episode was more excruciating than those of Dancing With the Stars and they can stretch those out to two hours, people.

The concept of having America choose the winner of the show was already kind of half-assed and overcooked. I felt certain I smelled a clip-heavy season finale with a live reveal on the horizon. I wish that's what aired. As boring and clichéd as it would have been, it would still be better than the corny, fake, condescending, insincere, not-funny hour of TV we had to sit through to see, surprise, Dave and Jasmine win. I actually felt stupid watching it, especially when Josh had the creepy treat of sitting between his two "moms," and the other Josh showed off his hairless chest in order to be massaged by Rebecca–and surprise, they had a massage table right there, can you believe it? By the way, I've heard more realistic-sounding laugh tracks on Flintstones episodes.

I know I'm being super-crabby and hard on this show but it's because I expect so much more from it. The finale to any dum-dum reality TV show can probably be done in an editor's sleep, but this one just seemed worse than most. Maybe what was most disappointing was that there were so few sincere, seemingly-spontaneous moments, maybe the only one being Dave and Jasmine's reunion. It was also sweet when Josh noted that he took Shay's smothering because she actually cared how he turns out. On the flip side, though, Sam seemed to be thinking to himself, "You're an actor–act like you missed her!" when presented with Rebecca.

What of Sam and Nicole? Whatever, man. As far as I'm concerned, they blew away into the ether when the confetti burst forth as the winners were announced. Sam was fake–I don't mean his personality even, but that he was an actor, not a regular civilian–and this season finale was fake. We'll always have Dave and Jasmine, Josh and Shay, but here's hoping that next season I'll go back to feeling sort of smart for watching this show.

Grade: D

Stray observations:

—One thing I almost hated more than the episode itself was the creepy split-open-legs set. I know it was two different legs, but still.

—Luke. Stop doing the Zoolander face. Forever. I mean it!

—Will looked like he hated sitting next to Jen. But, his hair is a little bit better, so, he came out even.

—Maybe my biggest complaint of the night: no Pet Shop Boys.