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Bruce Willis is officially bored with fireballs

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As first hinted at in his testy exchange with a British reporter who dared to question him about the movie he was trying to sell, Bruce Willis has lately become aware of a creeping ennui—that stage in every man’s life when he finds he can no longer feign excitement for even the biggest of fireballs. “When you have seen a few fireballs, it’s not exciting anymore. I know part of my audience enjoys the explosions, but to be honest, I’m a bit bored of it now,” Willis recently explained to Spain’s XLS Magazine (as translated by The Mirror), calling explosions “one of the most boring parts of my job.” Imagine that every blooming fireball is an Excel spreadsheet opening. That’s how Bruce Willis feels about fireballs.

Indeed, it seems Willis can barely muster the enthusiasm to sneer disinterestedly in the general direction of an explosion anymore, even though this has formed (and continues to form) the basis of so much of his film career. That is, unless someone pays him enough to just “act” like it. “I am very clear with who I am. I work in all sorts of films, but the action movies are the ones that generate the most revenue. I like to earn lots of money from those,” Willis said, having recently clarified that he needs at least $1 million per day if he has to so much as look at another fireball. Otherwise he won’t even try, but in a way where he’s also not actually in the movie.


In related news, everyone who saw the last Die Hard responded, “Yeah, no shit.”