After failing to retain even one of Howard Stern's listeners (surprisingly, the "run with the devil" slogan fooled no one), David Lee Roth now says he's going to rejoin his old band, Van Halen. Naturally. The problem is he hasn't actually informed the band. Or talked to them. Since around 1996. From


"To me, it's not rocket surgery. It's very simple to put together. And as far as hurt feelings and water under the dam, like what's-her-name says to what's-her-name at the end of the movie 'Chicago' — 'So what? It's showbiz!' So I definitely see it happening."


This is the greatest reasoning ever. Not many people can combine rocket science, surgery, water under the dam, and a half-assed reference to the movie Chicago when answering a simple question. It's like trying to cross the street, and instead turning and running around the block a few times, picking up every cliche you see on the way.

Despite that claim, Roth — who was Van Halen's singer from 1974-1985 — acknowledges that he hasn't seen Edward Van Halen "in a couple of years." The last time Roth recorded with Van Halen was for the group's "Best Of Van Halen Volume 1" album in 1996, though there have been periodic rumors ever since.

Ok, so basically the story here is that a crazy, possibly drunk man is saying that he's joining a really famous band. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm sure lots of crazy people living on the streets make that same claim every day.