Today, Variety has a report announcing that Dwayne Johnson is going to star in an Amazon Studios movie called Red One that is some kind of “globe-trotting, four-quadrant action-adventure comedy” (which means it’s a movie that will appeal to kids and adults, that it takes place around the world, and that Dwayne Johnson will mug for the camera in between stunts) that involves “a whole new universe to explore within the holiday genre” (which we’re going to guess means that it’s a movie about Christmas characters). Variety says a press release announcing the film also brags that it’s a “unique concept” that “could encompass not only a tentpole film, but could reach beyond entertainment across multiple industries and businesses.” Basically, it’s a movie that they can make Funko Pops out of.
The movie will be written by Chris Morgan, a Fast And Furious veteran who most recently worked with Johnson on Hobbs & Shaw, but the best promotional quote that Johnson can muster is that this team-up between Johnson’s production company (Seven Bucks) and Amazon is “underpinned with some innovation, some pioneering, and a lot of positive energy and passion.” Listen, he’s not talking to us there, he’s talking to the people who actually read Variety to get the news while they wait for their assistant to bring the Tesla around so they can go to the premiere of a unique concept tentpole film they produced, but he basically could’ve just said nothing there.
So, since there’s clearly nothing to say about Red One, let’s clear up some potential confusion you may have if you’re a big Dwayne Johnson fan who loves following updates on his work. This is the first time we’re hearing about Amazon picking up Red One, but this is not the first time a streaming service has picked up a Dwayne Johnson vehicle with the word “red” in the title: At some point this year, Netflix is going to release Red Notice, a (probably) unrelated action movie starring Johnson, Gal Gadot, and Ryan Reynolds. That one is about an FBI agent teaming up with some criminals for whatever reason, not exploring a whole new universe within the holiday genre, so please don’t get them mixed up. They’re both on separate streaming services, so it’s not like you could accidentally buy a movie ticket to one when you meant to see the other, but… we just wanted to point out that Dwayne Johnson is going to be in a movie called Red Notice and a movie called Red One. That’s all.