Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

About a year ago, when Bravo was seemingly picking professions at random (Interior design! Hair styling! Hotel management!) and either making them into Project-Runway-style reality competition shows, or plain old reality shows (Flipping Out, Work Out, Welcome To The Goddamn Parker), it was fun to imagine what the next job-turned-reality-show would be: Carpet installation, perhaps, or maybe Top ESL Instructor. Of course, most of the professions that Bravo chose had (at least the appearance of) glamour, even if in practice they were incredibly dull to watch: decorating a high-end hotel suite with a fire theme might sound interesting, but, believe me, seeing it happen was not.

Well, apparently, the profession doesn't even need the faintest hint of glamour to be made into a reality show anymore. What's your job? Add a judges panel, a Queer Eye cast-off as host, and buckets and buckets of seriousness, and it could be a reality competition. Chances are, it probably will be one day (start honing your catchphrases now).

How else can you explain Groomer Has It, Animal Planet's very own Top Pet Groomer?

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See? It doesn't matter how boring your job is. You could shave dogs for a living, and still find yourself crying about a difficult dog-shaving challenge on cable TV.

But the question remains: Who among you will go reality contestant when the time comes? Look around at your co-workers. Study them. Will the intern become the judges' favorite? Will your office manager become a crier, coasting to the top five because her tears give the producers something exciting to work with? Will the guy in the office across from you play the villain role perfectly? Will you have no choice but to go zany, spitting non-sequiturs, spacing out, and generally embodying the phrase "loveable weirdo"? Best to pick your character now before the cameras show up and pick it for you.

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