While the world awaits the birth of the most significant twin deities in history since Romulus and Remus—Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are currently searching for a suitable she-wolf to suckle them should the need arise, and also because it would make a really cool, meaningful tattoo—tabloids are scrambling for babies, any babies, to put on their covers. The offspring of forgotten Full House sister, and current Pants-Off Dance-Off host, Jodie Sweetin? People will happily take it. The latest chapter in the tired, twist-free tale of eternal infant Jessica Simpson? Us Weekly has it covered.
But this week's issue of everyone's favorite shouty-titled tabloid, OK! has scooped all of its competitors with an Earth-shattering exclusive look into the private thoughts, secret hopes, and dark issues (i.e., potty training) of a 2-year-old child.
Nice try, OK!. But all the screaming yellow headlines in the world can't make a toddler—even a celebritoddler—interesting. Also, you should have dug a bit deeper for this story. Here are a few things not included in your list of Shiloh's preparations for her baby sisters' arrival:
—Drooling