It's hard to overstate how poorly this VH1 The Fabulous Life Of... segment aged

First brought to our attention by Eoin Higgins on Twitter and unfortunately verified through multiple venues, this is a very real episode of the very mid-2000s wealth-worshipping series, The Fabulous Life of…, which was an unholy successor to the seminally awful, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. After about 15 excruciating minutes, we’re treated to lavish praise draped upon none other than Jeffrey goddamn Epstein.

We’re not sure where to begin: the reminder that Epstein was once a schoolteacher, the name-dropping of Kevin Spacey and Bill Clinton, the hindsight realization that our current hellscape was foretold that long ago. Let’s simply start (and end) with the adoration heaped on Epstein’s Boeing 727 jet, shall we?

“He has a Boeing 727. I’m just wondering, ‘Now, what do you need with a commercial-sized airliner for?” muses Mickey Boardman, editorial director for Paper magazine. “It comes in handy when you have powerful friends to fly around,” the show’s narrator chimes in, failing to mention the open secret in powerful circles that Epstein’s 727 was purportedly nicknamed the “Lolita Express” for reasons both obvious, awful, and not worth rehashing here.

Goddamnit. Just… goddamnit. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to go scream into a pillow for the rest of the afternoon.

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