Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The First Amendment had already signed a waiver and was just beginning to slur its words, so Joe Frances picked up a camera and got to work. "Just look at you. So sexy," he coaxed from behind the camera. "You're a naughty little First Amendment, aren't you? Want to get a little naughty? I'll give you one of these Girls Gone Wild tank tops. That's a $29.95 value. Just hand me your shirt."

The First Amendment hesitated at first, its hands protectively pulling down on the hem of its t-shirt. This wasn't the first time someone had tried to exploit it for personal gain. But, in the end, The First Amendment yanked its shirt over its head. "That's nice," Francis said. "Mind if I join you?" He then passed the camera to one of his many hangers-on, tacked up an American flag on the wall, and approached the now topless First Amendment.

Want to check out the hot, hot action? Click play below:

So I guess they only did one take, which is good cause it gives it that whole "amateur" feel.

Still, Joe Francis is right: if it happened to him, it could happen to you, provided that you are Joe Francis. Finally someone is standing up for multi-millionaire, tax-evading, journalist-assaulting, sometime child pornography moguls everywhere.


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