This summer’s edition of Games Done Quick, a livestreamed charity marathon where speedrunners try to set new records for beating games way too quickly, featured two players annihilating childhood memories of being pretty decent on the Nintendo by playing through Super Marios Bros. and Super Mario 64 while blindfolded.
It’s a trick that may seem impossible to those of us already flabbergasted by the kind of players who can rush through Mario games that lasted us years in just a few minutes, but the blindfolded subset of speedrunners have been around doing this sort of thing for a while.
The most notable recent example is a streamer who goes by Crescendo, who managed to beat the original Super Mario Bros. in 11 minutes and 55 seconds while wearing a sleep mask. A video of the feat shows off his method, which involves using fireball-assisted echolocation (like some kind of game-loving bat) and knowing the levels inside and out.
The second big blindfolded speedrun came from a guy who goes by Bubzia tearing through Super Mario 64 like his parents were just about to realize it was a week overdue from Blockbuster. How he afforded to buy the game, which can only be properly enjoyed by spending $1.56 million on a sealed copy, is anyone’s guess. But, having got a version of it running, he introduces what he’s doing, covers his eyes, and proceeds to finish the Nintendo 64 classic in just a second shy of one hour and fifty minutes. As controller clacking and maniacal “ya-hoo!”s echo through the feed, a commenter explains exactly how a blindfolded run is accomplished.
While this is an impressive accomplishment, it really does kind of sour the sense of pride the rest of us jerks feel just from managing to place in the top five of a Call Of Duty match. Next the pros will be out there sniping us from across a map while streaming footage of themselves doing headstands or juggling knives at the same time.
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