While the Internet has mostly spent the last 24 hours making Lost jokes at Matthew Fox’s expense, the female bus driver he’s been accused of assaulting, like everyone else, isn’t laughing. Heather Bormann tells TMZ she’s absolutely pressing charges over the incident, which occurred when Matthew Fox—who’s currently in Cleveland filming I, Alex Cross—attempted to board a privately chartered party bus. Fox has yet to comment, so we don’t yet know exactly why Fox so desperately wanted access to Bormann’s rolling bacchanal of karaoke videos, stripper poles, and secretarial desperation, except that it probably says something about the Cleveland nightlife.
What we do know is that Fox—who Bormann says “smelled like a liquor cabinet, like a bar”—allegedly responded to being denied entry by simply staring at her and not saying anything, which should sound familiar to Lost fans, then “stepped in for a right hook to my pelvis area and started wailing on me like I was a man." After Fox reportedly punched her in “my crotch and breast,” Bormann says she responded by punching Fox in the face, knocking him backwards and leaving him with a bloody lip, and injuring her hand in the process. Police detained Fox early Sunday morning but released him shortly thereafter; Bormann says she is now meeting with prosecutors to plan her case. In addition to more important lessons about always listening instead of hitting, hopefully this will finally convince Fox and everyone else to cut it out with the party buses. Seriously, they are never worth it.