Wealthy, beautiful celebrity couple Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher have decided the world needs to know they smell like shit. Despite the years of work spent endearing themselves to the world through sitcom characters, film projects, glossy magazine photoshoots, and occasional applications of decent judgment, the Kunis-Kutcher household have now eagerly offered news to the world that they don’t like bathing very much—and they almost certainly require cartoon stink lines to be airbrushed out of every image of them.
The conversation regarding their unorthodox approach to basic hygiene starts almost immediately on the July 19th episode of Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast once the topic of skincare comes up. Prompted with the question of whether they bathe every day, Kunis starts to discuss washing her most pressing bits part-by-part rather than just, like, taking a proper shower. Then, eager to contribute even more detail, Kutcher jumps in to announce, “I wash my armpits and my crotch daily and nothing else ever.”
Kunis explains that she didn’t have regular access to hot water when she was growing up in Ukraine, so she avoided showering regularly. Then, when she and Kutcher (who seems to have no rationale at all for being such a die-hard soap-dodger) had kids, they passed on her habits to a new generation by not wanting to “wash them everyday.”
“I wasn’t the parent that bathed my newborns ever,” Kunis says.
Shepard volunteers that “it’s been like six years” since his own children had a proper bath and Kutcher says “if you can see the dirt on them, clean them, otherwise there’s no point.”
We also learn fellow celebrity and Shepard’s spouse, Kristen Bell, “washes her face but not her body,” that Kutcher will at least “throw some water” on his mug after he works out “to get all the salts and whatever” off, and that Kunis washes her face twice a day. Shepard endorses this behavior, saying we all need to just stop using soap and bathing so much to improve our skin.
This topic exhausted, Kunis and Kutcher get into their cryptocurrency and NFT projects for the rest of the episode and Dax Shepard calls crypto “kind of a punk-rock movement,” which may not be as viscerally objectionable as the host and guests’ bathing habits but still stinks at least as much as their homes must.
[via Consequence Of Sound]
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