Back in 2018, we were introduced to the BLOXVOX, a kind of Bane-inspired techno-gimp mask meant to suppress the noise made from speaking on work calls and, as an unadvertised bonus, the desperate screams of its wearer. Though the device didn’t really catch on over the last four years, that hasn’t stopped other companies from seeing enormous promise in the relatively unexplored field of high-tech human muzzle hardware.
Thus, the “mutalk.”
Created by Japanese hardware company Shiftall Inc. in a collaboration with Panasonic, the mutalk is described in an official product announcement page as “a Bluetooth microphone that suppresses leaked sound.”
“Voice chat is the primary method of communication in the metaverse and online games,” the copy reads. “However, when it heats up, it usually becomes loud and often causes complaints from family and neighbors.” Shiftall writes that “heavy” VR users might decide that “moving to a new house is one way to deal with this problem,” which sounds like a drastic solution from our point of view, but does help make their case for spending about $200 on an iMuzzle.
What doesn’t advertise the mutalk quite as well is a video commercial of the device in action. We highly recommend watching this to see how you, too, could look as empty-eyed as the model who dutifully straps one onto himself after an off-screen voice calls for him to keep down the abrupt orgasm noises he makes while gaming.
If that clip sold you on the mutalk, we should also point out that it’s just one part of a larger metaverse-focused product line from Shiftall that includes a wearable body cooling/warming harness and VR-enabled Riddick goggles. Buy all three and, when used together, you can become the closest thing to a brain in a jar, blissfully cut off from the outside world, that humanity’s achieved to date.
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