After dealing with how weird and icky sex is last week, “The 23rd” finds New Girl turning to subject matter that’s more squarely in its wheelhouse: Namely, Christmas and feelings. A Christmas—nay, holiday episode, as Schmidt’s post-Chanukah malaise so quickly reminds us—is a no-brainer for the show. Jess is the type of person who goes gonzo for Christmas. Not necessarily the religious aspects of the holiday, but its fun, “glad tidings and good cheer” side. And that’s exactly what she does here, raving about a well-decorated street (while driving by its inflatable Santas and light-up trees during the daytime) and displaying her thoughtful gifting skills by giving a pair of roller skates to each of her roommates. The episode’s cold open, in which it’s slowly revealed that Nick, Schmidt, and Winston are each wearing their skates around the house, is a deftly written comic sequence, one heightened by the fact that none of the actors involved appear to have much skating experience. Unfortunately, that’s as funny as “The 23rd” gets.
The complicating factor surrounding New Girl’s first Christmas is Jess’ relationship with Paul. While the character knows exactly what to get for the guys and for her best friend (CeCe loves her fake mustache as much as the roommates love their rollerskates), she’s totally stumped when it comes to buying a Christmas gift for her boyfriend. Apparently she arrives at the conclusion that Paul’s life is missing a stuffed, anatomically correct heart, a gift she downplays despite Paul’s wide-eyed enthusiasm toward it. Not that Justin Long has many other modes as Zooey Deschanel’s potential suitor—what we’ve seen from Paul so far is either a childlike whimsy or the rattled, sad little adult that lives within that whimsy. And as soon as Jess answers Paul’s pair of tickets to Vienna and a Viennese music festival with a battery-powered novelty, it’s clear we’ll be seeing more of Long in the “rattled/sad” position later in the episode. When he says “I love you” and she responds with “Thanks,” that pretty much seals the deal on the whole romance.
But I’m not particularly sad to see Paul go. And his impending departure presents a real, relatable emotional dilemma for Jess, one that adds an element of “A Charlie Brown Christmas”-style melancholy to the proceedings. It’s just too bad the way things between the characters end is so abrupt and inconsequential. Paul has served his purpose as a narrative device—help Jess recover from her break-up with Spencer—and now he must join Michael Chang Sr. in the clouds above Fox Plaza. One minute he’s there on the balcony with Jess and Nick, and the next minute he’s gone. Now all that stands between a Nick and Jess hook-up is Lizzy Caplan’s inevitable ascendance to that higher plane.
And while New Girl is the last show that should be counted on for strong storytelling, its disappointing how limp “The 23rd” feels until the characters arrive at Schmidt’s office holiday party. And even there, things are a little off-kilter. While the script—New Girl’s second credited to Donick Cary following the more solid “Wedding”—gives miniature arcs that serve Winston, Schmidt, and CeCe well, Nick’s intrusion into Jess and Paul’s affair grafts two tired sitcom tropes onto the already rote “I can’t say I love you” story playing out between the characters. Not only does Nick fall into a pit of dramatic irony when he approaches Paul on the balcony of the Associated Strategies building (the generic name of Schmidt’s employer is an understated comedic high point of the episode) in order to smooth things over, he then gets himself, Paul, and Jess caught in a “stuck in the meat locker” episode when the door to the balcony locks. These are all necessary complications leading toward the end of Jaul (Pess? Jessaul?), but they’re each too Sitcom 101 to rise and meet the complex nature of Jess’ feelings toward Paul. And they each earn an additional lump of coal from the ghost of Sexy Santa for because they’re not funny.