No Strings Attached might be more persuasive if Kutcher and Portman ever seemed like they ought to end up together. Kutcher plays an aspiring TV writer working on a High School Musical-like show and lamenting that his famous sitcom-star dad (a quite funny Kevin Kline) has taken up with Kutcher’s ex-girlfriend. Portman is an emotionally closed-off, romance-averse doctor, and though she’s never convincing in the part—in spite of her Black Swan breakthrough, in this setting, she still seems too inherently likeable to suggest a damaged psyche and the edgy personality to go with it—the two generate a nice, chummy, sexy chemistry. But it doesn’t look much like love.
Maybe that’s why No Strings Attached crowds the edges with so many engaging performers. Portman’s character shares a house with fellow doctors played by Greta Gerwig, Mindy Kaling, and Guy Branum, all charming enough to suggest a more entertaining movie might be found in their living room. Jake Johnson and Ludacris provide amusing support as Kutcher’s crew, and Kline livens up his every scene as a drug-, youth-, and trend-chasing star whose ego never deflated after his decades-ago time in the limelight. The most surprising moments belong to Lake Bell, who plays against her statuesque looks as Kutcher’s awkward, neurotic, lovestruck co-worker. Also on hand: Olivia Thirlby and Saturday Night Live’s Abby Elliott. If anything, No Strings Attached provides Exhibit A in the argument that Hollywood does a disservice to its talent by continually packing it into formulaic product.
That said, No Strings Attached isn’t a bad piece of formulaic product. Until its endless final act, Elizabeth Meriwether’s script and Ivan Reitman’s old-hand direction keep the scenes moving briskly against a pleasant backdrop of landmark- and coffee-shop-strewn L.A. streets. It helps that everyone lets the supporting characters burst regularly into the not terribly compelling lead story. Meanwhile, Kutcher and Portman lurch toward a foregone conclusion that feels scripted on the page, when it ought to feel written in the stars.
