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Pan's Labyrinth to become a Broadway musical, finally

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For nearly a century, Broadway has been under the stranglehold of "theater," which is where some guy in a rumpled suit mopes around complaining about America before he kills himself, and then a bunch of girls with parasols come out and sing about spring. But in recent years it's undergone a renaissance thanks to the realization that you can also take movies and put some music to it, and then everyone can finally just enjoy a nice night out and maybe get a tote bag and some ice cream after. Movies like Guillermo del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth, which is reportedly now making its way to the stage.

Del Toro has already co-written the book for the theatrical version of his 2006 horror fantasy, recently hiring Babel composer Gustavo Santaolalla to write songs with lyrics by Paul Williams, whose ability to merge sentiment with puppets will certainly come in handy here. No director has been selected yet for what will obviously be a huge, phantasmagoric spectacle demanding an impressive budget, but it seems a sure thing that Julie Taymor will be considered in articles like this one as a joke.