So far, the fallout from the Sony hack has resulted in revelations of the studio’s ruinous, runaway spending on tigers (yet surprisingly cost-conscious pills-and-coke budget), hints of a deep self-loathing for its years of enabling of Adam Sandler, and yet more strained relations with North Korea. But as great as all of these things have been for a laugh, now the group that has dubbed itself the “Guardians of Peace” has crossed a line that can never be uncrossed: unearthing scores of preferred aliases of Hollywood celebrities, and completely upending their abilities to check into hotels and—judging by some of their code names—rap on the side.
The list was uncovered by Fusion’s Kevin Roose (alias Kevin Ruse), who happened upon a folder containing various “publicity bibles” full of detailed cast and crew contact information. In many cases, these included the fake names stars assume in order to protect their identities from fans beating down their door to bother them. Or, in some cases, to get someone to notice Rob Schneider.
A partial list, with their likely explanations:
Tom Hanks: “Harry Lauder” or “Johnny Madrid.” Respectively, a famous Scottish vaudevillian and a character from the 1960s Western series, Lancer. (Chet Haze/Johnny Madrid mixtape dropping 2015.)
Sarah Michelle Gellar: “Neely O’Hara.” A reference to the awful, demanding, pill-addicted actress in Valley Of The Dolls, and a suggestion that Sarah Michelle Gellar is pretty fun.
Daniel Craig: “Olwen Williams.” An homage to Craig’s grandfather, Olwyn Williams. COOL ALIAS, JAMES BOND.
Taye Diggs: “Scott Diggs.” Diggs’ real name, which absolutely fools everyone into thinking Taye Diggs is just a boring, Scott sort of dude. Nobody looks twice at a Scott.