A few months ago the CW ran out of ideas and announced their plans to remake Beverly Hills:90210, and ever since then two questions have reverberated in America's collective mind, namely: "What?" and "Why?"

Well, today we got an answer to at least one of those questions in the form of a promo for the new 90210. According to the trailer below, the CW's 90210 is going to be a choppy melange of people walking down hallways, dark rooms illuminated by solitary spotlights, shoelaces worn as headbands, pool lounging, and run-of-the-mill high school stock characters, all shot in early-90s seizure-vision.

I hope that this 90210 follows in the original 90210's footsteps and kills off at least one boring character in a trendy, hot-button issue, PSA-worthy way. Beverly Hills:90210 had Scott accidentally shoot himself with his parents' loaded gun in order to teach teens about gun safety. Maybe 90210 can have Silver (and her headband) murdered by a guy who friended her on Facebook for a lesson about online safety, or Navid—his iPhone in hand—can perish after crashing his car into a wall as a warning about texting while driving, or maybe Ethan can be pummeled to death by reality television, as a lesson about watching The Real World. Only time will tell.