Want to know why I don't watch American Idol? Here you go:
You know they had to restrain themselves from inserting a can of Coca-Cola in Elvis' other hand, or putting a Ford logo on his back. Now, there are many, many reasons to not watch American Idol: Ryan Seacrest's aggressively calculated blandness, nausea-inducing camera swoops, the blinding Who Wants To Be A Millionaire staging, the danger of having to sit through a live Jennifer Lopez performance, etc. But a Celine Dion/dead Elvis charity duet backed by a chorus of American Idol contestant angels? That's so awful it's almost physically threatening.