As determined opponents of technological progress, we take great pleasure in reporting that the sky itself seems dead set on murdering drones lately.
The first example of this uplifting trend is the story of a raven in Canberra, Australia that was filmed denying air space to a machine delivering coffee about two weeks ago. The raven, no doubt furious that an assemblage of metal would dare to use its skies for something as trivial as transporting a small quantity of coffee, flaps up to the drone and beats the hell out of it for a bit before leaving it alone as a warning.
Though the attack shown above wasn’t successful, The Canberra Times reports that the ravens are learning “how to avoid the drone blades” and are “getting better at [attacking them] by the day.” As a result, one delivery drone company has now had “to suspend flights over the area” and experts are trying to figure out ways for their devices to operate without being pecked to bits by angry birds.
Despite this clear warning from the natural world, the city of Zhengzhou, China still attempted to host a drone-enabled light show last Friday. As Vice explains—and as an apocalyptic video shows—some 200 drones were advertising a shopping mall by spelling its name in the sky before they began plummeting back down to earth, dropping onto cars and forcing viewers to run for cover.
Let these stories be a word of warning to you, drones. It’s time to retreat to your hangars and cupboards. We will not always be there for you, ready to run to the rescue while the soothing sounds of Enya help calm the soulless metal places where your nerves should be. We will now let you succumb to the forces of gravity you’ve defied for so long. Consider it revenge for that time you evil machines attacked our precious human singer, Enrique Iglesias.
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