Lana Del Rey is going to be a screenwriter now

By Sean O'Neal | September 4, 2012 | 5:59pm

Aux Features Film

Having already demonstrated an aptitude for inventing fictional characters, the erstwhile Lizzy Grant known as Lana Del Rey has revealed plans to transition into screenwriting, a profession that will allow her to provoke resentment from an entirely new genre of creative types. "When I was starting, I had a vision of being a writer for film and that's what I am doing now. I'm so happy," Del Rey tells the Australian Vogue [via NME], conveying happiness by smashing her lips together and lolling her head to one side, like humans do. "Hopefully I will branch into film work and stay there," she continued. "That will be my happy place. I'd like to stay in one place for a long time."

No word on what sort of film Del Rey has supposedly been writing or when the Internet can begin making fun of it, but she did note that—as anyone who has witnessed the apparent hostage situation that is anytime Lana Del Rey is forced to appear on stage—singing live is most definitely not her happy place. "Sometimes I kneel down because I am trembling or touch the audience because I don’t know what else to do," Del Rey says of performing live. "But the nice thing about the kids is that they feel bad for me, and pass me soft toys!" It should be noted here that Lana Del Rey is a grown woman who speaks English as her first language, so what the fuck.