It’s been a bit over a year since Gal Gadot cursed us with her star-studded and deeply cringey cover of John Lennon’s “Imagine.” You’d think that the backlash to that video would’ve made celebrities think twice about making more corny COVID-19 pandemic-related music, but Mick Jagger and Dave Grohl (they’re friends, apparently) collaborated on a song, “Eazy Sleazy,” about how tough it’s been to sit through quarantine—never mind that they’re both super rich guys who managed to stay healthy throughout the whole thing.
“Eazy Sleazy” sounds like a fake Rolling Stones track; the whole thing feels like an SNL parody of a Stones song that had to be cut for time. But hey, at least they’re having fun.
“It’s a song that I wrote about coming out of lockdown, with some much needed optimism. Thanks to Dave Grohl for jumping on drums, bass and guitar, it was a lot of fun working with him,” Jagger says in a statement. “It’s hard to put into words what recording this song with Sir Mick means to me,”adds Grohl. “It’s beyond a dream come true. Just when I thought life couldn’t get any crazier……and it’s the song of the summer, without a doubt!!” [Like the song’s rhythm section, the punctuation is all Grohl.—Ed.]
You can say the lyrics are tongue-in-cheek, but these are unfortunately real words Mick Jagger is singing about the pandemic:
- “Cancel all the tours/Football’s fake applause”
- “No more travel brochures/Virtual premieres, I’ve got nothing left to wear”
- “Looking out from these prison walls/You got to rob Peter if you’re paying Paul”
- “That’s a pretty mask/But never take a chance/TikTok stupid dance/Took a samba class”
- “I landed on my ass/Trying to write a tune/You better hook me up to Zoom”
- “Way too much TV/ It’s lobotomizing me”
- “We’ll escape from these prison walls/Open the windows and open the doors”
- “Shooting the vaccine/ Bill Gates is in my bloodstream/It’s mind control/The Earth is flat and cold”
Okay, so that last one is obviously facetious, but enough is enough. We’re near the finish line, guys! Please spare us from further embarrassment.