The earth convulsed on Monday, threatening to split and spew hell’s feral fire and brimstone. Why? Because Friends, the NBC sitcom where Matthew Perry has a third nipple, would soon leave Netflix. Eagle-eyed streamers saw a January 1 expiration date on the show’s Netflix page, and the news spread like an Ebola-infected Marcel throughout social media. So virulent was the response that Netflix quickly emerged, placing a soft hand on the shoulder of its subscribers to assure them that Central Perk remains open for business. For now, at least.