The 2020 presidential race has seen Tom Steyer back that azz up, Bernie Sanders thank Kitty Kat Fan Club for their music, and Mike Bloomberg get exposed for his connection to the Bionicle books, among other revelations. Politics, it seems, has invaded every corner of our lives, so much so that you’ve probably been forced to consider who your pet—be it dog, cat, or possum—would vote for in the 2020 election. Now, we have an answer. Well, for possums, at least.
For roughly a decade, a woman going by the name Georgette Spelvin has been uploading videos on possum care to her YouTube channel, MEpearlA. She exudes an out-of-place glamor, her feathered hair and dainty mannerisms contrasting comically with the feral nature of the creatures she handles. Her cadence remains unnervingly calm as delicately explains everything from the Proper Possum Standard of Excellence to how to read possums a bedtime story. And if you’re wondering how to give a possum a massage, there’s a video for that, too.
But most importantly in this election year is how can candidates can secure the opossum vote. Georgette tackles this in a 2017 video titled “Proper Possum Political Persuasion.” Determining your possum’s political views is not an easy matter, she clarifies, stressing that it’s important not to generalize. All possums are individuals. There is no such thing as an average possum, and each have their “own mind and set of values.”. However, in Georgette’s telling (and who are we to doubt her?), they all share an unfortunate prejudice against wombats (who they view as inferior to possums) that Georgette does not agree with. After explaining the need to recognize the diversity of possums as a group, she rather abruptly concludes that most possums tend to be opportunistic anarchists. As such, maybe it’s better we not know their preferred candidate.
But it’s important to note that possums are guided more by their religious beliefs than their political views. According to Georgette, they have all sworn devotion to Pearl of Wisdom, a dead squirrel who created the universe. See, Georgette is not, in fact, the main focus of the channel. She is the mere messenger through which the almighty Pearl communicates.
So who, exactly, is Pearl? And what does this religion entail? It’s a bit vague, but MEpearl’s website has a few more details. Pearl’s full name is Pearl de Sagesse de Sabaduria. She achieved her all-knowing status by chewing on a Webster’s dictionary. She also has some views on the afterlife. “I know exactly what happens when we die,” she told one fan. “We don’t.” Basically, after death, we either achieve higher consciousness like Pearl or our heads explode. If you’re still confused, Georgette suggests buying some merch.
MEpearlA’s videos have always had religious undertones, but recently they’ve become more overt. In 2017, MEpearlA released a video with the squirrel deity herself, her first in-person appearance. Maybe because of her elevated consciousness, Pearl looks more like Georgette in a squirrel mask than an average squirrel. In 2019, Pearl made another appearance in a video titled “The Pearlestine Prophecy,” which reveals several insights into Pearl’s religion, including the concept that you can take everything you own into the afterlife.
Georgette’s possum family has also grown. Her more recent videos feature house cats that she declares are “Mufasian opposums” and “Nubian Onyx Oppossums.” In a recent Instagram post she calls her German Shepherd a “German Guard Opossum.”
Of course, Georgette actually does have real pet possums, and in her videos she really does pamper them in outrageous ways. MEpearlA is an underrated but long-lasting YouTube enigma. It’s still unclear how candidates can win the trust of possums/possum lovers, but buying Pearl’s calendar (emblazoned with the slogan “Let’s do better this year, shall we?”) is a good start.