Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The Game Of Thrones finale is called “The Children”… oh dear

Illustration for article titled The Game Of Thrones finale is called “The Children”… oh dear

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for June 15. All times are Eastern.


Game Of Thrones (HBO, 9 p.m.): George R.R. Martin’s efficient killing machine slowly winds down for another 10 months or so, and those left standing give thanks for being among those spared the chopping block (or the sword or the poison or the giant hands or the mammoth’s hoof—shit, there are a lot of ways to die in Westeros). But, oh, what’s this: The title of the finale is “The Children”? Well that’s… unfortunate, unsettling, and upsetting. Just—c’mon, how much blood does this show need? That title’s just a massive misdirect, right? Todd VanDerWerff probably knows the answer to that question. Erik Adams, meanwhile, cowers in a corner, clutching his Arya Pop! figure—just in case Martin, D.B. Weiss, and David Benioff decide they want to go after that version of the character, too.



Enlisted (Fox, 7 p.m.): Maybe Enlisted would’ve fared a better chance if the name of tonight’s episode, “Army Men,” was the name of the whole show. Les Chappell has his doubts.

The Escape Artist (PBS, 9 p.m.): David Tennant steps out of the TARDIS, sidesteps Broadchurch and Gracepoint, and winds up in a courtroom in this British import. If Tennant has any objections, Alasdair Wilkins determines if they’ll be sustained.

Superjail! (Adult Swim, 11:45 p.m.): There will always be a handful of A.V. Club readers who call for weekly Superjail! coverage, despite the fact that the show more or less defies the weekly TV Club format. Those readers aren’t going to be any less disappointed during Superjail!’s fourth season—but at least we’re acknowledging the premiere in What’s On Tonight!


Halt And Catch Fire (AMC, 10 p.m.)


Farscape (11 a.m.): Alasdair Wilkins puts on a pair of glasses and peers into the past. The spring of 2001, specifically, when both of this week’s Farscape episodes—one of which involves its own pair of time-warping glasses—first aired. 


The Simpsons (Classic) (3 p.m.): Travel with Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, Martin, and Erik Adams to see two of the world’s greatest wonders: The Knoxville Sunsphere and Andy Williams. Andy Williams?! Yes, Old Mr. Moon River himself.


Hollywood Reporter Roundtables (A&E, 8 a.m.): And in the wee hours of a Sunday morning, while all of the world is either asleep, waiting in line for brunch, or at church, the old Arts & Entertainment Network peeks out from the storage locker it’s currently kept in, allowing a number of Emmy hopefuls to discuss their craft. After that… it’s a couple hours of Longmire followed by a bowdlerized cut of Goodfellas? So A&E isn’t all Duck Dynasty these days. Not until 5:30 tonight, at least.


My Daughter Must Live (Lifetime Movie Network, 8 p.m.): On the topic of cable channels getting in touch with their roots: Lifetime’s movie spinoff stages an old-fashioned liver-transplant drama. It’s like a Lurlene McDaniel novel that you don’t have to read!

Modern Marvels (H2, 9 p.m.): As proven in 2010, TV can’t get rid of Jay Leno so easily: Four months after Leno finally ceded The Tonight Show, a Modern Marvels countdown gives the comic a showcase for his vintage car collection. At last, the world can know about Jay Leno’s intense passion for the automobiles of bygone eras!


Cutthroat Kitchen (Food, 10 p.m.): What bizarre methods of sabotage will crop up in the cooking competition’s third-season finale? The removal of all heat-generating appliances from a contestant’s cooking area? Alton Brown constantly whispering in a chef’s ear “You’re not a very good chef”? A meal that must be prepared with entirely inedible ingredients?

Dumb And Dumber (Comedy Central, 7:25 p.m.): In the wake of the Dumb And Dumber To trailer premiere, here’s a reminder that each of Jim Carrey’s three star-making turns—Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask, and Dumb And Dumber—each inspired a Saturday-morning TV spin-off.


The Truman Show (TMC, 8 p.m.): As opposed to The Truman Show, which has been a TV show this whole time—the TV show you think you’re starring in every time you watch The Truman Show and consider the possibility that you’ve been Truman-ed yourself. (You haven’t—unless Ed Harris is paying What’s On Tonight to write that.)

U.S. Open Championship (NBC, noon): Really, television viewers have a number of options for athletic championships today—but in the case of the international competitions being held today, here’s the one where you don’t have to worry about endorsing a supervillain-esque governing body like FIFA.



Assuming anyone survives the slaughter of the Game Of Thrones finale, What’s On Tonight urges you to read the grand conclusion of The Long Weekend Of Thrones, in which Todd VanDerWerff considers the show’s evolving sense of storytelling. There’ll also be a premiere review for the newest season of Rev. (coming soon to Hulu) and an Inventory on celebrities we mostly remember from game shows—but the true main attraction is The Tournament Of Episodes, which commences tomorrow and runs through the end of the month. It’ll be like the World Cup, only we didn’t have to deprive Brazilian citizens of millions of dollars in essential aid and funding in order to pit TV episodes against one another.




Orphan Black: Guess we’ve heard good stuff about In The Flesh, too. Can Caroline Framke corroborate these positive impressions? After she’s finished with her comments on the Clone Club’s most recent exploits, of course.