Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The White House will be forced to end its silence on whether Justin Bieber should be deported

Image for article titled The White House will be forced to end its silence on whether Justin Bieber should be deported

For those who watched last night’s State of the Union and wondered why President Obama glaringly did not address the recent arrest of Justin Bieber—besides Obama’s history of bowing to terrorists, that is—rest assured, he won’t be able to elide the issue for much longer. A White House petition calling for Bieber’s deportation back to the lawless, moose-governed wilds of Canada has now reached more than 100,000 signatures, automatically forcing the Obama administration to end its silence on whether Justin Bieber sucks.


This latest call to action that the American people demand their presidents make regarding pop culture they don’t like was formulated in the wake of Bieber’s drag-racing and DUI charges—an affront to the United States that the Founding Fathers might have decried thusly, were they not dead and blessedly unaware of Justin Bieber:

We the people of the United States feel that we are being wrongly represented in the world of pop culture. We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked. He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society.

As The Washington Times notes, Bieber is in the country not on a green card but a work visa, which could technically—if not likely—be rescinded if he’s found guilty of his crimes, or of weakening the nation. But any decision on that will have to wait until the White House finally dares to respond, something that could happen in weeks, months, or even years—or even be passed on to the next administration, which may not be as historically soft on Bieber. Indeed, expect it to factor greatly in the run-up to the 2016 election, when everyone will definitely still be talking about Justin Bieber.

In the meantime, Bieber’s best hope for fighting this Internet petition is, naturally, with another Internet petition, this one demanding that the White House stop being a hater and leave Justin Bieber alone.

Stop Justin Bieber from getting deported. He is a human being and he makes mistakes. He does not deserve this. The whole idea of Justin Drew Bieber getting deported, is completely unfair. He doesn't deserve this…. With your help, we can stop it. He's human. He's not perfect. The media sees the bad side of him. Please. He's saved so many lives. Including mine. A lifesaver, Shouldn't deserve this.

As of the time of this writing, this second petition only had around 1,600 signatures, meaning it could be awaiting a response until the next State of the Union, when Obama finally challenges the members of Congress to stand with him in recognizing that Justin Bieber is just a human being, you guys.