The Women, the remake of George Cukor's 1939 all-female classic starring Meg Ryan's inflated lips, that song "Mercy" by fake Amy Winehouse, and Jada Pinkett Smith's lesbiacting, currently has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes–granted only 22 reviews have been counted so far but that's still pretty bad. So, The Women is officially the worst movie opening this week–which isn't surprising considering the movie's insufferable trailer.

But the question remains: does the worst movie opening this week have any advice to give you, maybe say, via the pinkest blog not devoted to My Little Pony? What a silly question. Of course it does!

Friends Are A Girl's Best Friend

While the shiny stuff sure is nice there are some things that we value more and keep closer to our hearts. Those gal-pals who are always by your side with a shoulder, a laugh, an understanding smile, or glass of wine, are part of what make you sparkle.

Unlike diamonds however, cracks can appear in any friendship if it is not treated with care and "polished" as needed. In order to keep things shining with your friends make sure that you are giving them the attention they deserve.

While email is great for work and distant relatives, a phone call or note is the best way to keep in touch with your friends. Take the time to unplug from the computer, turn off the TV and reconnect with the people who are near and dear to you, be it over the phone or face to face. The happiest women make time in their week for friends no matter how busy they are. They meet for coffee before work, hit side-by-side treadmills at the health club, or sashay out for dinner on a weeknight.

By keeping your connections with friends strong and giving them the support and love that they deserve, you make each other feel gorgeous and brilliant and that is more precious than any gem.

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You said it , girlfriend! (Can I call you girlfriend, instead of Production Intern Forced To Write This Promo Blog In The Voice Of Candice Bushnell?) Please tell me more about how all the "happiest women" make time for their friends by actually acting out the verb "sashay." Do they "canoodle" and "glam up" together as well?

Nice work with all of the gem-related words. It was seamless. Although, all the diamonds in the world just reburied themselves under miles and miles of earth just to get away from that terrible, tortured metaphor.

Also, thank you for finally saying, "Friends Are A Girl's Best Friend." It's a long-overdue and much needed clarification of the "diamonds are a girl's best friend" postulate Marilyn Monroe presented (through song) in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. I'm going to text all of my diamonds right now and tell them our friendships are, like, totally one-sided. Then I'm going to sashay over to the health club, grab a pair of side-by-side rowing machines, and make friends with actual people instead of gemstones.

It would seem strange for someone to take a lighthearted song metaphor like that and twist it into earnest, serious advice–but considering that The Women remake is a "celebration" of the very same terrible, empty-headed, bitchy society women that the original movie was criticizing and satirizing, the whole misguided advice blog makes a lot more sense.