To you and I, Adam Levine is the annoyingly visible frontman of bland rock powerhouse Maroon 5 whose voice wavers somewhere between nasally whine and nasal falsetto as filtered through a mosquito made out of tin.

Levine, though, clearly sees himself as something more. As evidenced by Maroon 5's new video, "Wake Up Call," Levine sees himself as an actor, a pimp, a thug, and a criminal–roles that are pretty hard to play convincingly when you have a face like a dull needle that has a default expression of "bland."


I'm not sure, but I think this song and video are autobiographical, except instead of shooting his ex-girlfriend/prostitute's new lover/client with a gun, Levine killed him with a tape of his passionless falsetto played on loop at high volume.

Honestly, how boring is your song if you have to basically tie a string bikini filled with explosions around it to make people watch the video?