It’s been a big week for animals terrorizing our species. Following the news that bands of wild boars had both laid siege to Italy and attacked Shakira while she was walking in a Barcelona park, we’ve now learned that residents of Jamaica, Queens, New York City have been suffering under the tyranny of a pissed-off rooster and a roving group of asshole chickens.
NBC New York detailed this chilling account of a rogue rooster by highlighting its most recent victim, a man named Leon Susrean. Suseran was walking to the bus he takes to work yesterday when he “felt a peck on [his] left hand”—a sign that he had been singled out by the dread bird. “This thing kept coming, so vicious, almost evil,” Susrean said. “Blood was gushing, and I was trying to apply pressure to it and it kept charging at me.”
Curiosity quite understandably piqued, NBC spoke to residents of the neighborhood, who seemed eager to share their tales of terror with anyone willing to listen. “It’s a big rooster,” one person said. “It’s not one you want to eat, doesn’t look like one you’d want to eat.”
“I’ve heard kids can’t ride scooters, you can’t walk freely,” another resident said, presumably while peeking out warily from behind a barricaded door. “You’ve got to be careful now of a rooster.”
The article says that the rooster has been active “for years” and is joined by “a group of chickens” that all work together to bite people and “[roam] around and [chase] kids.” After Susrean was attacked, police decided to investigate the issue and “helped corral the rooster and a chicken” and question the residents of the house where the birds are suspected to be kept.
This is the second story we’ve heard of typically harmless animals suddenly deciding to attack Queens residents. The borough previously withstood a series of assaults by mad squirrels earlier this year, which makes wonder: What kind of Resident Evil-style animal-mutating virus is currently being tested beneath the city streets?
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