Adele will kill anyone who tries to throw something at her onstage

And frankly, we stand by her 100%. Stop throwing things at pop stars, guys. It's so weird.

By Emma Keates  |  July 5, 2023 | 2:36pm
Aux News Adele
Adele will kill anyone who tries to throw something at her onstage
Adele Photo: Gareth Cattermole

Here’s something we all (should) know: murder is generally frowned upon in polite society. Got it? Great. But you know what else would be seen as a breach of the social contract in almost any situation that doesn’t involve baseballs, snowballs, or dodgeballs? Chucking something at a person just trying to do their job. Imagine congratulating your accountant on finishing your taxes by tossing a laptop at their head. Would they be legally justified in killing you? Of course not. But morally? Maybe!

Now imagine your accountant was international superstar Adele. You wouldn’t stand a chance. The message here should be clear, but since it just keeps happening, we’ll say it one more time: stop throwing things at pop stars! Just don’t do it. It’s so dangerous and so weird.

The “Easy On Me” singer recently addressed this extreme (or is it?) stance during a show at her Vegas residency. “Have you noticed how people are, like, forgetting fucking show etiquette at the moment and just throwing shit on stage?” she asked in a now-viral video. “I fucking dare you. I dare you to throw something at me and I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Stop throwing things at the artist when you can shoot it at people,” she continued while blasting a t-shirt gun into the crowd. And, sure, that might be a tad hypocritical, but first of all, it’s Adele and she can do whatever she wants, and second, a t-shirt is a whole lot softer than, say, your mother’s ashes. Or a sex toy. Or any number of other projectiles that have been launched at artists during this baffling trend in recent months.

Hopefully, this speech puts the whole affair to bed, but if not, we can’t say we wouldn’t be thrilled to witness the full extent of Adele’s villain arc. She may be the Avenger that pop stardom deserves.

 
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